Dual....:-)
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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