Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
