Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
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