some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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