If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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