I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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