My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
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