Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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