Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
