i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
