I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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