Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Did you pee in the oven last night??
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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