Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
third nipple confirmed
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize
