yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
