you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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