Cold hands, warm shart.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Randomize
