dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
