I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
