just tell him i said nine months
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Just cropdusted the office
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
