She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
