Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
there's paper in my vomit.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
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