Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
All the doctor said was why
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
