Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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