Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Randomize
