Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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