You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
