i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
