woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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