he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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