You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Send help, water and tortillas.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
