did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize