going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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