quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize