Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
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