i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
My ATM looks so different sober.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
