is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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