Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Randomize
