I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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