you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize