Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
