why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
vagina is talking i cant
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Randomize
