Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
so let's talk penis.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
