is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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