she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
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