yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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