i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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