mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
