What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
