now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
