did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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