I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
