An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I fill condoms, not promises.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
