worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
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