I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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