do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize