She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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