She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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