i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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