is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I can't put those talents on a resume
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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